


Just Another Part of Life

by HiddenTreasures



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6742510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTreasures/pseuds/HiddenTreasures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A medical scare with Jackie brings a sharp realization to the fact that even in a human life, people can still be left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Part of Life

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains mentions of cancer and a cancer scare.

The Doctor flicked through his novel disinterestedly. It was a collection of poems by T.S. Elliot, with several unique-to-this-universe pieces. He had already read the tome twice before, but he needed the comfort of something familiar at the moment

His focus was more on Rose, anyway. She was pacing their flat, making circuits from the kitchen to their bedroom to the sitting room and all the rooms in between, tidying up little things that were already in perfect order as she went. It was making him more agitated to look at her. She’d been this way for a half hour; before that, she’d gone for an hour-long run.

The Doctor snapped his book shut and sighed.

“C’mere.”

Rose whipped her head up to look at him. Worry and trepidation and helplessness were all written plainly across her face, and it twisted the Doctor’s stomach to know he couldn’t do anything to lessen her anxiety.

He wiggled his fingers in an invitation for her to sit down beside him, which she did, albeit stiffly, and on the edge of the sofa. He reached over and gently ran his fingers across the soft skin of back of her neck and her shower-damp hair tickled his hand. Her muscles slowly relaxed under his ministrations until she slumped sideways into him.

The Doctor pulled her tightly against him, tucking her head under his chin. Her arms wrapped around his torso as she nuzzled her face into his collarbone. He pressed soft kisses into her hair, hoping to offer her some measure of comfort with his embrace.

“It’ll be all right, Rose,” he murmured, willing the words to be true.

“But what if it’s not?” she asked, and his heart broke upon hearing her voice waver.

“Then we’ll deal with that as it comes,” he answered, hugging her closer. “Together. But if I know your mother, she’s not leaving us any time soon. Got too much unfinished business. She’s not had time to poison me with her Shepard’s Pie yet. Hasn’t smacked me for breaking the pool house window last week.”

Rose gave a watery chuckle.

“That was you?” she asked. “We all thought it was Tony. He’s really gotten into football lately, and Mum just figured he wasn’t being careful.”

“Weeellll,” the Doctor said, glad to have pulled Rose out of her melancholy, if only for a moment. “You’re not wrong, per se. It’s just Tony had a bit of help, is all. I figured Jackie wouldn’t be as mad at him as she’d be at me.”

Rose snorted.

“Using a six year old as a scapegoat,” she murmured, burrowing herself back into his chest. “How the mighty have fallen.”

“I’ll tell Jackie the truth at Sunday tea,” he promised.

The conversation lulled, both of their thoughts drifting to the same place: fifteen miles away at the hospital where Jackie was currently undergoing a biopsy for the suspicious mass her GP had found during her latest mammogram.

Rose had wanted to go to the hospital with her mum, but Jackie had insisted she stay home. It would just be a lot of waiting around, and Pete promised to call when they got any news.

 _Who knows how long these bloody doctors will take,_  her mum had joked. Jackie seemed to be the only person not concerned about the situation.

Rose checked the clock again. Half-past two. Her mother’s appointment had been at noon, just about the time Rose’s anxiety had rocketed through the roof.

Her mobile suddenly chirped, and she bolted from the Doctor’s embrace to grab it. With shaking hands, she answered it.

“Dad?”

The Doctor tensed as Rose resumed pacing, listening to the news her father had to deliver. His palms were clammy and his heart was racing erratically in his chest, making him feel lightheaded. He focused on his breathing, and on Rose’s face, trying to gather any clues he could about Jackie’s prognosis.

He never expected, in all of his lives, to feel this attached to one of his companion’s mothers. It wasn’t even sympathy concern; he wasn’t worried because Rose was worried – although he hated seeing her like this – but he was honestly, genuinely was frightened that Jackie Tyler might be ill. Human beings were so bloody fragile. The slightest thing could harm them, and snuff out their tiny little lives.

The sound of a long exhale from Rose brought him from his rumination. He looked up and saw a wide smile splitting her face, and his heart swelled with relief. He beamed back at her.

“Oh, thank God!” Rose said giddily as gave the Doctor a thumbs-up. “Where’s Mum? Can I speak to her?”

Rose waited for a moment, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Mum?” she asked nervously.

Her voice sounded so small and childlike and tears popped into her eyes.

The Doctor jumped up from the sofa and hovered beside Rose. She reached out for his hand as she talked with her mother. He twined their fingers instantly and he began to stroke the back of her thumb with his.

“So everything’s fine, yeah?” she asked thickly. “Just a scare?”

The tears finally fell, and the Doctor pulled Rose into his arms, rocking them back and forth. The utter relief he felt was overwhelming. He hadn’t realized how worried he’d been until the threat was over, and now he felt exhausted and drained.

“Yeah, we’ll be over for dinner tonight, of course,” Rose said. “Oh, Mum, I’m so glad you’re okay! … Oh, don’t give me that! There was so a reason to be worried, and you know it! … Okay, you go home and rest now. I love you. We’ll see you in a few hours.”

Rose hung up the phone, and turned around to face the Doctor. She looked a mess. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and her cheeks were tear stained and splotchy, and yet she was grinning widely.

“She’s all right,” she breathed out. “It was nothing. Just a scare. She’s absolutely fine. My mum’s okay.”

Though he already knew that, had gleaned it from Rose’s end of the conversation, he sensed Rose needed to say it aloud. He simply smiled softly at her and folded her into a hug, kissing her forehead.

As soon as she was in his arms, the floodgates opened, and sobs of relief wracked her body. The Doctor held her closer and swayed them side to side, rubbing her back and nuzzling his cheek against her hair.

“She’s fine, Rose,” he murmured. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I love you.”

Rose’s fingers were gripping his shirt tightly and her face was buried into his neck. She breathed him in as she tried to calm her racing thoughts and tell herself that everything really was fine again, that she had no reason to worry anymore.

The Doctor rocked her slowly from side to side and murmured soothing sounds into her ear, pressing the occasional kiss to her head. Jackie Tyler was fine, he told himself. His family was okay. _For now_ , a small voice in the back of his mind said. He quickly banished that thought, and focused on the feeling of Rose in his arms, and the feeling of joy and relief that accompanied Pete’s call.

Rose finally stepped back from his arms and swiped at her eyes, letting out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Sorry,” she said. “Dunno what came over me.”

The Doctor breathed out a laugh of incredulity and kissed her forehead.

“Today has been stressful,” he whispered into her hair. “It’s all right to give into your emotions.”

Rose snorted and playfully jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

The Doctor smirked at her, and enfolded her into his arms once more.

oOoOo

Dinner that night was a quiet affair, but there was a celebratory undertone. From the jovial way Jackie was throwing back the wine and encouraging everyone else to do so, she had been more nervous about the procedure than she’d let on. However, she still adamantly insisted that she knew everything was going to turn out all right, and that Pete and Rose had blown it all out of proportion. Nobody had the heart (or nerve) to tell her otherwise.

The Doctor was subdued throughout the meal. He gave Jackie a hug when they’d arrived, telling her he was glad everything turned up clear, but otherwise he didn’t say much. He let the Tylers revel in their joy.

Rose picked up on his mood quickly, though. He was merely pushing his food around his plate rather than eating it and he wasn’t making snide comments about her mother under his breath, which was his favorite form of mid-meal entertainment. He barely even acknowledged whenever Rose tried to coax him back into the conversation.

He was a million miles away, and Rose didn’t know how to bring him back.

Not wanting to bring it up while still at her parents’ house, Rose simply took his hand and didn’t let go. The Doctor looked startled when she subtly twined her fingers with his under the table half way through the main course. But he smiled gratefully and squeezed her fingers, tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

They didn’t stay long. Rose just needed to see her mother for herself, a reassurance that everything was really and truly fine. With that need met, they left with the promise to back again for the weekly Sunday tea.

The drive back to their flat was uncomfortably quiet, with the Doctor driving and still holding Rose’s hand.

“You all right?” she asked softly, squeezing his fingers lightly.

“Yeah, fine,” he said quickly, his mouth quirking up in a poor imitation of a smile. “It’s just been a long day, is all.”

Rose didn’t push it, hoping he would tell her on his own eventually.

When they got back to the flat, they started getting ready for bed, though it was still fairly early in the evening. Neither had slept well the previous night, knowing that Jackie’s procedure was due in the morning.

Rose cuddled up next to the Doctor, hoping that in the darkness he would tell her what was bothering him. He often did that, speaking softly into her hair about moments in his life before he’d met her, or after he’d lost her, or even after they’d been given this second chance together. She loved those quiet moments when she was curled tightly against his chest, his heart beating strongly beneath her ear, and she’d just be about to fall asleep when his voice would pull her back again.

Tonight, however he found her lips and covered them with his own. This kiss was rough and hungry, and Rose gasped in surprise before quickly returning and deepening the kiss. The day had been an emotional roller-coaster. As much as the Doctor pretended to dislike her mother, and vice versa, the two were quite fond of each other. Rose knew that the Doctor would have been just as devastated as she would have been if Jackie’s biopsy results hadn’t come back clear.

Rose pulled on the Doctor’s shoulders, urging him on top of her, and he went willingly, moaning into her mouth as his hips were cradled by hers. She could already feel his arousal pressing insistently against her thigh, and she rolled her hips into his to stoke the embers of her own arousal.

They made love to each other hard and fast, with Rose cradling the Doctor’s body into her own as he tried to bury himself completely within her. Their bedroom was filled with frantic touches, desperate kisses, and needy whimpers as they drove each other to the highest pinnacle of pleasure.

He came first, his face buried in the juncture of her neck, shuddering and panting her name. She followed quickly, stars bursting behind her eyes as her body snapped itself of all tension. She held him tightly as they gently rocked their way through their climaxes. The Doctor breathed slowly and deeply into her collarbone as his heart slowed back to its normal rhythm. Rose carded her fingers through his hair and pressed her lips to his jaw.

“Love you,” he whispered into her neck, nuzzling the soft skin.

He then rolled off of her, walking to the bathroom for a flannel to clean themselves with.

Rose felt sated and sleepy; she opened her arms to the Doctor, an invitation for him to crawl into them. Instead, he reemerged from the bathroom wearing pajama bottoms and a cotton shirt. Rose felt a pit form deep in her stomach. The Doctor always loved a good cuddle right after sex, and usually neither of them bothered putting clothes back on.

The Doctor walked over to her ran his fingers through her hair as he leaned down to press a gentle but lingering kiss to her forehead before retreating from the room.

He was to the doorway when she asked softly, “You okay?”

The Doctor looked back at her, smiling tightly, as he answered, “Yeah, of course. Just not tired, and I don’t want to keep you up. Sleep, love. I’ll be in later.”

Though she could tell he was lying, Rose couldn’t bring herself to protest further. She truly was exhausted, and this wasn’t the first time the Doctor had left their bed so as not to disturb her with his restlessness. She would just have to trust him that he would talk to her eventually if he needed to.

She slumped back against her pillows, and let herself be pulled into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Rose awoke several hours later, disoriented. She rolled over to the Doctor’s side of the bed, wanting to nuzzle up against him, but was instead met with cold sheets. Her eyes popped open. It was still dark outside and she reached over to grope for her mobile. She pressed a button and the time flashed on the screen: 2:07am. She flopped back against the pillows; it had been over four hours since she’d gone to sleep with a promise from the Doctor he’d be in later. Apparently not.

Rose scrambled out of bed and quickly found one of the Doctor’s t-shirts and a clean pair of knickers before she left their bedroom and went in search of her missing Doctor.

She found him in the living room, sitting on the floor against the sofa. His knees were pulled to his chest and his forehead rested against them. He appeared to be sleeping, but when she approached, his head lifted and he stared at her with wide, tired eyes.

Rose slid down on the floor next to him, but the Doctor didn’t move. She wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. The Doctor didn’t fall into his melancholic moods as often as he used to, but when he did, Rose learned that the best thing she could do was sit quietly beside him and hold his hand until he was ready to talk.

His tense muscles relaxed slightly at her touch, and he leaned over to rest his head against the top of hers.

Rose absently rubbed her thumb across the side of his hip as she looked around the room. His glasses and a Dickens novel sat on the coffee table. A scrunched pillow and a blanket were strewn over the sofa, evidence of his failed attempt at sleep. Rose’s heart broke as she sat quietly with him.

The silence stretched on and on, the minutes ticking by until Rose and the Doctor had been sitting together for half an hour, neither of them saying a word.

Rose was getting sleepy again, and her eyes threatened to flutter shut on multiple occasions. But she wrenched them open, ignoring the burn of exhaustion within them, and cuddled closer to her Doctor.

Finally, his voice broke the silence.

“I love you.”

Rose turned her head to look at him. He was looking at her with such pain and longing and sadness in his eyes that her heart ached.

“I love you, too, Doctor," she whispered into his neck, wrapping both arms around him tightly.

He responded, cradling her to his chest tightly.

“Wanna talk about it?” she offered softly.

The Doctor pressed his lips to her forehead and said again, “I love you.”

Rose pulled back slightly to look at him.

“Doctor, what’s wrong?”

He barked out a laugh that sounded so harsh and scathing that Rose’s spine tingled unpleasantly.

“Human beings are so bloody fragile,” he said bitterly. “Your bodies don’t even last a hundred years. And they’re so susceptible to injury and illness. It’s amazing you lot have survived for this long, and managed to spread out through half the galaxy!”

Rose’s intuition flickered, and she asked tentatively, “Is this about what happened with Mum? Because she’s all right, you know. There’s nothing wrong. She’s fine.”

The Doctor snorted again in derision, and she wished he’d stop doing that.

“Well, yeah, she’s all right _this time_ ,” the Doctor said. “What happens the next time it isn’t a scare? Next year she could be struck down with any one of the plagues still populating this planet. Or she could get hit by a lorry on the way to Tesco’s. Or maybe her next test won’t come out so clean.”

Rose’s eyes welled with tears. She knew he didn’t mean to make her upset, and she knew he only lashed out like this when he was scared, but him telling her how fleeting human lives were reminded her of her earlier terror that morning, and her fears that maybe the doctors had gotten it wrong, and Jackie wasn’t as healthy as they said.

Rose sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes, willing away the sting of tears.

“Stop it,” she whispered.

“Oh, no, Rose Tyler, I’m not done yet!” he said hotly, nearly shouting now. “There are any number of ways that a human being can die! Murder, disease, accident! Wars and alien invasions! The heart just gives out! Cancer! The cells get hijacked and start eating away the body! Any moment could be your last, and _I’ll be on my own_!”

The Doctor snapped his mouth shut with a click, and buried his face in his knees again. He was trembling and breathing erratically, and Rose finally realized what had upset him so much.

She rolled a bit to kneel beside him before she tapped at his knees. He tensed, keeping them tight against his chest for just a moment before he straightened his legs out in front of him, allowing her to straddle his lap.

“Doctor?” she asked tentatively, lifting her hand to brush his fringe from his face. “Are you worried that… that something will happen to me? I’m completely healthy, Doctor, and so are you.”

“So was Jackie Tyler,” he grumbled to the floor.

“Doctor, stop it!” she demanded harshly, ignoring the ache in her chest. All the times she’d heard about cancer, she never thought it would happen to her own Mum. Today had frightened her more than anything, and the Doctor wasn’t making it any easier. But she tried not to get too cross with him, and tried to work him through his fear. She took a deep breath to reign in her emotions.

“People die,” she said simply, trying to ignore the way he flinched. “That’s what we do. We’re born, we live, we die. That’s what’s supposed to happen, Doctor. That’s life. And whenever it’s my time to go – which I hope isn’t for a good long while, mind you – I hope that I’ve lived this life to the fullest and have experienced as much love and happiness as possible.”

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her waist and his hands clutched desperately as her shirt. He pulled her to his chest and buried his nose in the crook of her neck.

“I can’t lose you,” he murmured into her skin. “I can’t.”

Rose stroked the back of his neck gently, pressing soft kisses into his collarbone.

“I know, love, I know,” she whispered, leaning the side of her head against his.

The Doctor shuddered beneath her, trying to pull her even more tightly to him.

“If you don’t think everyone else has those same fears, you’re wrong,” she told him gently. “No one wants to be left behind. No one wants to leave people behind. You of all people should know that.”

He inhaled sharply at this and held her impossibly closer.

“But life is unpredictable,” Rose continued softly, playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. “No one knows what’s going to happen, what the future might hold. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again, but I do know I’d keep living, because my family would need me to. Same with Mum; if it turned out she was sick, we’d need the strength and support of family to make it through. Same as if you lost me. I need to know you’ll be okay if…if I…if anything ever happens. You’re part of our family, Doctor, whether you wanted to be or not. We all love you and are here to help you through whatever life throws at us. Together, yeah?”

“I don’t want you to die,” he whispered, his voice breaking on the last word.

“I know,” she soothed, her heart breaking for him. “I don’t want to die. And you know I’ll do everything in my power to stay with you for many decades to come. I promised you forever twice now, Doctor, and I intend to keep that promise. Okay?”

He nodded into her shoulder and kept his arms tightly wound around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rocked their bodies slowly from side to side. She rested her cheek atop his hair and hummed tunelessly as she tried to sync her breathing to his.

After several long and quiet minutes, the Doctor leaned back to look at her with wide, appraising eyes. He slowly leaned towards her to press his lips softly to hers.

“Thank you,” he said roughly, his voice thick with emotion.

Rose smiled softly and cradled his cheeks to press a longer kiss to his lips. When she broke the kiss, she kept his cheeks in her palms as she rested her forehead against his.

“Anytime,” she breathed, stroking her thumbs across his cheekbones. “And I mean that: _anytime_. I don’t want you brooding on your own for hours on end. I love you, and I want to help you.”

“I know,” the Doctor murmured. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Rose nodded in acknowledgement, and she nuzzled her nose against his.

“I keep wondering if the doctors really got it right, y’know,” Rose whispered, feeling her anxiety from earlier that day creeping back. “What if she really is sick, and they just missed it?”

Her voice wobbled a bit, and the Doctor pulled her to his chest again.

“The doctors are professionals,” he reminded her. “She sees the best physicians London has to offer. She’s fine, Rose. I promise. She’s okay.”

“Yeah, but what if–”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Rose,” the Doctor warned. “Don’t play the what-if game. You’ll only drive yourself mad and make yourself more upset than necessary.”

She snorted into his chest.

“Bit rich, coming from you.”

“Do as I say, not as I do,” he quipped lightly, stroking his fingers through her hair.

They sat there in the dark for a long time until the drowsiness overtook them both. The Doctor’s head fell backwards as he drifted to sleep, startling him awake and causing him to snap his head up again. This happened a few more times, before he roused a dozing Rose off of his chest.

“Bed,” he said, shifting her off of him.

He stiffly climbed to his feet, wincing at the pins and needles, and he pulled Rose unsteadily to her feet, too.

They made their way back to their bedroom where they slipped into their designated halves of their bed. Rose rearranged the pillows and turned her back to the Doctor, settling into the middle of the bed. The Doctor curled himself around her, his front flush with her back. He wriggled one arm beneath the pillow supporting her neck; his other arm rested lightly on her hip, until Rose grabbed it and tucked it under her chin. He nestled his nose into her hair and breathed her in.

They’d never fall asleep like this, they knew. When the Doctor’s arm would go numb, he would roll himself onto his back for a more practical sleeping position, and would probably wake Rose in the process, who would then flop onto her stomach. But for now, they were content to hold each other as closely as they could, practicality be damned.


End file.
